A brief timeline of every fucked up thing Peter Dutton has done


It’s time to face facts. Peter Dutton isn’t backing down. So in case you’re wondering who this glorified potato is, and what he’s been up to during the last ten years, here’s a brief political timeline of his *ahem* crowning achievements. The future is bleak, my friends.


Peter Dutton Boycotts the Apology to the Stolen Generations 

The year is 2008. The Labour Party is still riding high off the zeitgeist that was ‘Kevin ’07’. But before their party turned to shit, they actually managed to get something done. A formal apology was made by the Prime Minister of Australia to the Stolen Generations. As time would tell, this would far from solve the issues that still effect Indigenous Australia today. However, it was a long overdue and powerful gesture that opened the door for numerous important conversations in the years since. Where then, was Peter Dutton? He boycotted the apology altogether.

“I didn’t appreciate the symbolism of it, and the importance to Indigenous people,” said Dutton as quoted by the Sydney Morning Herald.

Nice one. What’s that old saying again? One step forward, ten years back? Yep, that’s it.


He Allegedly Oversaw A Spying Operation on Senator Sarah Hanson Young 

During a visit made by Greens senator Sarah Hanson Young to Nauru in 2013 – the same visit that ultimately uncovered systematic abuse taking place on the island – provisions were made to have Hanson-Young followed and surveilled. While Dutton denied any knowledge of the incident (even going so far as to call Hanson-Young an “embarrassment to our country” for bringing it up) “Operation Raven” as it was known was confirmed by Wilson Security – the very private security operator that oversees the infamous detention centre.

Peter Dutton Thinks Climate Change Is A Joke. Literally. 

While standing next to Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott at a summit addressing the rapidly rising sea levels surrounding the Pacific Islands, Dutton decides to take the piss out of the very issue he was tasked with finding a solution for. Luckily for us, the whole thing was caught on camera. Bonus round: the expression on his face after Scott Morrison whispers “there’s a boom mic here” is priceless.


Peter Dutton Got Caught Out Calling A Female Journalist A “Mad Witch” 

Have you ever done that thing where you accidentally text the very person you’re talking shit about? No? Neither. But old mate Peter Dutton has. Dutton was intending to text his ousted chum Jamie Briggs (who left parliament for allegedly inappropriate conduct towards a female staffer) an insult towards Sunday Telegraph editor Samantha Maiden. She’s a “mad fucking witch”, texted Dutton. But here’s the thing – the gumnut hamfistedly sent it straight to Maiden herself


Peter Dutton Refuses to Take Accountability for Manus Island 

From the get-go, Manus Island was an Australian atrocity. But in 2017, over 600 asylum seekers without food and water pleaded for Australians to come to their aide after a communication breakdown on Manus. The situation escalated to the point where even the United Nations began to call Australia out for breaching basic human rights. This, sadly, is one of the many atrocities that took place on Manus. But what was Immigration Minister Peter Dutton doing? He wasn’t listening to New Zealand – who were offering to resettle over 150 asylum seekers. Instead, he was wasting his time sledging the greens.


Leads a Fearmongering Campaign Against “African Gangs” 

Research has shown that Australia’s views on African immigration have been unfairly skewed by media-induced hysteria, in part born from fearmongering politicians. Enter: Peter Dutton. Victorians are “scared to go out to restaurants” because of “African gang violence”, according to Dutton. He, of course, said this knowing full well that only 1% of alleged criminal offenders in Victoria are Sudanese-born.

So, What’s Next For Australia? 

All in all, this only scratches the surface of what Peter Dutton has been responsible for over the past ten years. It’s far from an exhaustive list – which is saying something, considering the number of decisions he’s been involved in ranging from the awkward to the inhumane.

Currently, the Liberal Party – and subsequently Australia’s parliament – is in an absolute state of disarray. But considering Australia’s revolving door of leaders over the past few years, are we really so surprised? What is surprising though, is our nation’s complacency when it comes to who leads our elected government. Ask yourself this: is Peter Dutton really the right leader for our country, considering all he has done? Or is this just another revolving face, destined for failure, fronting a party that is being torn apart from the inside.

Australia deserves better. But until then, we at least deserve better than Peter Dutton.


Beat’s best barbers: Smith Street Barber


Tell us about your shop. We’re a modern styled barber shop with a traditional theme. We’re pretty large, with five barber chairs and chesterfield couches to seat people waiting. The atmosphere is very relaxed, we have a TV, magazines, and the music is anything from ‘50s rockabilly to ‘90s pop.

When did you open your shop and how was the idea born? We opened in 1999 as a place for men to escape the salon experience as the barber industry was dying. We wanted to be a place where men could come and relax, have a beer and listen to great tunes without the unnecessary salon bullshit.

What services/treatments does your shop offer? We offer all types of barbering services at an affordable rate ranging from $15 – $40. We do all types of haircuts, from traditional short back and sides, to skin fades, unconventional abstract mullets, beard trims and wet shaves. We try to cater for all needs rather than just a certain crowd.

What are your top men’s grooming/maintenance tips? Keep your hair clean, it makes a huge difference to the end result of your haircut. Apply less product to it to begin with and add more as you go if necessary. Cut your hair regularly to maintain your style, and make sure to use the right product for your hair type.

What are your favourite/most popular styles of cut to do? We get a lot of skin fades, undercuts and traditional haircuts and lately we’ve been churning out a lot of mullets. Anything a little different from the norm is always a great fun to challenge our skill set.